Kodiak Apple Brown Sugar Pecan Oatmeal (crafted by Zac Efron)-Review

Oh goodie! OATMEAL!! Yes, today we’re talking about oatmeal and it’s a saga. Specifically we’re talking about Kodiak Apple Brown Sugar Pecan Oatmeal (crafted by Zac Efron). Now, for context- how did we get here?

Well, I’ve been lifting weights a lot, trying to become a Giga-Chad and have started eating oatmeal, specifically instant oatmeal (I’m lazy.) It’s been an adventure, eating all these different kind of instant oatmeal. Protein oatmeal is something I stumbled into completely by accident. I picked up the wrong box at the store. At first, I was annoyed and bewildered. The texture, the thickness and even the flavor was too “protein-y” and I didn’t have a pleasant experience. But after some trial and error, I figured out the perfect time, the perfect amount of milk and the perfect routine to cook it and finally I had figured it out! Edible protiein oatmeal.

So then I go back to the store and decide to try a new one and what do I see? Kodiak Apple Brown Sugar Pecan Oatmeal (crafted by Zac Efron). It was a bargain, like $3.85, so I scooped it up. I was impressed by the packaging, I like trying new brands and I also love weird celebrity endorsements. If Paris Hilton endorsed a steak I’d probably buy it.

And then look at Zac Efron. He looks so nice and happy with his Kodiak oatmeal. I bet it’s the pecan. Or maybe the chia. There’s a lot of good stuff in here and I have to say, it all tastes great. This oatmeal has a lot of personality. The earthy fusion of oats, pecans, chia seeds and pumpkin seeds is a brilliant contrast to the raspberry seeds, which add a subtle tang and sweetness. The texture of the oatmeal itself is fine and suggest that this is quality stuff. There’s a little mound of protein powder that tends to come out on top and adds to the overall macros of this thing. And best of all, it doesn’t detract from the flavor or texture really. Well, on texture…

Only one problem: I have no idea how to cook this stuff. I tried the microwave and 1/2 cup of milk/water for 75 seconds. It ended up being really soupy, like a stew. Honestly it was gross in this form. The oats themselves tasted good but the texture was awful. It was a shuttering eating experience.

The second time, I did it for a 60 seconds, with only 1/3 cup of milk and it exploded. Exploded in the microwave. Then it was a little too dry. But probably the best overall rendition I could muster in terms of texture. I liked the taste of this a lot too and could distinguish it more since it wasn’t watered down as much.

Finally, I tried steeping it in boiling water. This worked okay and was probably the best balance of the three. It wasn’t too dry or too wet, but it was still pretty watery and the texture was odd. Once again it was actually good and I felt healthy eating it, which is I guess what matters.

The point is: my experiments came out with two things. You need less water than is instructed. You also should cook it for less time. And watch out for explosions. Sounds simple, but it’s not.

Overall, what you need to know is that this a hearty, quality oatmeal that is full of protein. It tastes good and is a very quirky. I don’t know how much Zac Efron contributed, but when it comes to celebrity oatmeal, I was impressed. Once I figure out the best way to cook it, it will really be a next level breakfast option.